Spiraling
by fethre
Summary: James Potter is mine, and I don't really care who I push down in order to get my way.   JamesPotterII/OC
1. Dinner and Heartbreak

**A/N: Yay, another James/OC! I had this one on HPFF, it has 3 reviews. I was trying to add this new story on here, but for some reason it would let me post new stories for everything except Harry Potter. I nearly cried. But it's here now, and I hope you like it.  
My first fanfiction. Read and review, por favor! **

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"Dixie? Hello? Dixie Kasnic? Are you even listening to me?" My dorm mate, Emily, pouted from next to me, but I brushed her off easily.  
"She is such a slut!" I hissed, and Emily followed my gaze before rolling her eyes.

At the Ravenclaw table, Sophia Summerby tossed her annoyingly glossy dark hair over her shoulder, and smiled her annoyingly pretty smile. Her annoyingly loyal friend said something to her, and she let out an annoyingly bell-like laugh. Guys surrounded her and stared as she laughed, and my scowl deepened.

God, some people have it all, don't they? I mean, why does _she _get to have smooth, tan skin and a straight, white smile? Nobody should able to be gorgeous, uber popular, super smart, and a fantastic Quidditch player all at once.  
I swear to God she's either a robot or the devil disguised.

The thing I hate most about her? She's _nice_.  
No, seriously, she's totally understanding.  
One time when I had the flu pretty bad, I blew chunks all over her brand new shoes. Her friends around her just about had a hernia, but she just kicked off her shoes and helped me to the hospital wing.  
She _helped_ me to the _Hospital Wing_.

Since then, I have hated her guts.

Later I'll think of some way to get her back for stealing the attention that _I_ should have. Revenge is my personal specialty, after all. I might spread some rumor about a sexually transmitted disease. Or maybe I'll just dye her (annoyingly glossy) hair purple. That would so clash with her skin.

I was in the middle of eyeing up a treacle tart when Emily nudged me with sharp jab of her elbow into my ribs. My glass of water tipped and spilled onto the large, wooden table, and I turned my best glare to her. Instead of looking intimidated, though, she giggled insanely and pointed (not-so-subtly) to a crowd of Slytherins.

Damien Richards was watching me closely, and I sent a coy smile his way. He grinned at the acknowledgment, and I looked him over speculatively.  
He's hot enough, I suppose, with light brown hair, summer skin, and robin blue eyes. I'd probably meet up with him later on tonight. By the way he's looking at me, I don't think he wants more than one thing from me.

Some people call me a slut, and I never bother denying it. I'm no where near a saint, after all.

I say, screw it. (Ha, puns are great.) My innocence was lost the summer before 5th year, and from then on, it didn't much seem to matter anymore.  
Shagging was shagging; all the same to me. It was short and usually fun, and it meant nothing to both participants.  
Except one.  
_Ugh. Stop that, Zee! _I scolded myself internally, and rubbed my eyes. Thinking thoughts like those weren't allowed; it got me no where.

Emily gabbed on about her summer while I passed the time inspecting my long pink nails and giving an occasional grunt of agreement on things I hadn't even heard.

"Hey, Dix."  
I turned around and smiled widely (and fakely) at Farrier Skeeter. Farrier is a tall brunette sixth-year Ravenclaw, and she knows everything about everyone. She's nosy and sneaky, and always up to date on what's new in Hogwarts.

"Hey, Ree!" I greeted her, trying to keep the dislike out of my voice. "Love the hair. It's so.. cute."

Not really. Her haircut is actually pretty ugly; did she cut it herself?

Farrier smiled and slid herself smoothly in between Emily and I, scooting away Em's pasta to make room.  
"So," she started, and there was a gleam in her hazel eyes that made both Emily and I lean closer interestedly.

"This is major news, so be sure to spread it as soon as possible. Last night I caught Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy on the second floor broom cupboard. You should have seen their faces when I pulled open the door!"

Emily gasped before I could respond, cutting me off in one fluid motion. "No kidding! Did they.. do it?" She whispered the last words timidly.  
I couldn't help it; I snorted in amusement and both girls turned to look at me expectantly.

"Come on," I started doubtfully, and arched both eyebrows high. "We're talking about Rose Weasley, girls."

I wanted to laugh again at their blank expressions, but merely smiled, not pleasantly. "She's a total prude. I doubt it got any farther than a little snogging."

Emily cast a glance down the table, before bowing her head in what was a half-way nod. She probably didn't want to say anything to insult her possible "buddies."

She could talk crap with us about them as long as they didn't overhear her; she was such a hypocrite sometimes.

It's not like Emily was good friends with the others in my dorm, but they didn't mind talking to her and were actually pretty pleasant. For being such big bitches, I mean.

Of course, they don't like me. I wasn't offended or anything, because it was a mutual hatred.

Emily finished her dinner after Farrier left, and we headed up to the Gryffindor Common room.

"Shit," I realized when we were almost in, ignoring the Fat Lady's appalled gasp. "Do you know the password, Em?"  
Emily rolled her eyes; I always counted on her to remember them, and if she wasn't with me whenever I returned to the Common Room, I was royally screwed until someone else came along.

"Lucky for you, I do. Thestrals," She informed the Fat Lady, and the portrait swung open with a grumble.

We stepped through, and just as soon as we had, I wished we hadn't.

I halted in my tracks, and he leaned down to kiss her again as the whole Common Room cheered.

Emily said something from next to me, but I couldn't hear her over the buzzing in my ears.

I stared at them instead, watching him watch her.

The same brown eyes that had once smiled at me were now looking down at his best friend in adoration, while a wide grin split his face.

Hands that had been soft and gentle on my skin were now clasping strongly to hers, as if he was drowning and she was the only thing keeping him afloat.

He broke out of his trance and looked around the room, taking in the faces around him, all cheering wildly for what they knew would always end up. What was supposed to be, and what I should have realised would happen before giving my heart to James Potter.

I want to say his eyes followed me as I fled upstairs with Emily on my heels. But they didn't. They were trained on Jasmine's lips, instead. 

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**A/N: There's the first chapter of Spiraling. Dixie is a fun character to write, a little challenging to slip into, but I hope you guys like her.  
Okay, so the chapter title: This Love by Kesha. I am in love with Kesha's songs, and I think most of the chapter titles are going to be songs from her. You should go check out the song, anyways.  
Now, I hope you liked it as much as I do. ****Read and review? (:**  
**-Love, fethre.**


	2. Brothers and Snogging

**A/N: Hellooo there, readers. It's so exciting to know I have some people out there reading what I write.  
Anyways, I hope you guys like this one. It's a bit more busier than the beginning. Enjoy!**  
**Read and review!**

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"Kasnic! Get out of the bathroom, for Merlin's sake!"

I ignored the pounding on the closed door, inspecting myself closely in the mirror.

Today.. I felt good, for some reason. I was having an awesome hair day, and my eyes looked a shade brighter than their normal apple green.

Last night, I had done what I needed to do.  
I sulked behind my curtains, devoured a gallon of icecream, plotted Jasmine Witt's death as she was sleeping.  
Decided against it, of course, because I already have enough detentions on my record as it is, and then vented to Emily until we both fell asleep.

But now, I felt good.

Because it wasn't like this was the first time James had hooked a new girlfriend. He had his handful of Hogwarts birds over the years, and it had never affected us.

Usually they dated for a few days; then the girl would get clingy and start complaining about how James never listens or doesn't care. And boom, they're out of the picture.

The knocking on the door increased, and I rolled my eyes at myself in the mirror. Honestly, it's not like they needed the time.  
When I strolled casually to the door and opened it, I was greeted with a red face and bushy blonde hair.

Dominique Weasley may be part Veela, and boys may be obsessed with her, but she's not a pretty sight in the morning.  
This morning she looked particularly grouchy, and glared at me with icy eyes as I raised my eyebrow.

"Can I help you?" I asked sweetly, blocking the way into the bathroom.  
"No," She snapped. "But you can move."  
"For what?" I asked, and smiled. "No amount of time can fix that face."  
"For Merlin's sake, Zee!" Emily groaned from her bed, a dissaray of brown hair and frumpy clothing. "Just let Dom in. It's too bloody early for your bickering."

Yeah, our arguing was pretty regular. Usually wands were pulled out, antlers were given, and boils were gawked at.

But I wasn't in the mood for it today; Dominique Weasley ruined my perfectly good day, and I was far too irritated to continue arguing.  
"All yours, troll," I gave in, stepping aside and gesturing grandly to the open door. She scowled and stalked past me, 'accidentally' bumping into my shoulder harshly.

I flipped her the bird behind her back, and the creeper somehow saw it, giving it doubled back before slamming the door harshly.

Don't you just love the mornings?

- - -

The first day back to Hogwarts was miserable.

By the time my last class had ended, I was about ready to rip my hair out.

It seemed like everywhere I went, people were talking about James Potter and Jasmine Witt.

_"They're just so cute together."_

"What? James Potter has a new girlfriend?"

"Dude, Jasmine Witt is hot. Wish I was in Potter's shoes."

"Can you believe it? Best friends that turned out to love eachother. How romantic."

Cue: insane vomiting and hysterical laughter.

I stomped through the halls, glaring straight ahead with my blonde hair bouncing. People stumbled away from me speedily, dodging out of the way before I could hex them.  
I'm glad these people know me so well.

My head hurt insanely, a steady beat beginning in my right temple. I could have gone to the Hospital Wing to get it fixed right away, but I certaintly didn't wish to put up with Ms. Tainsely.

Ms. Tainsley was a greying woman in her late thirties. She's a complete physco, and a horrible nurse.

In my third year, I went to the Hospital Wing to get a shot. That lady stabbed me with her needle about seven times because she apparently couldn't find my vein.  
And when I went to go out the door, she called "Goodbye! Come back again soon!"  
..You don't tell people to "come back soon", if you work as a nurse.  
Point blank.

I rubbed my forehead, just as an idea popped into my mind.  
This idea put a smile on my face; my real smile, not the smirking one or the fake one.

I raced across the campus as fast as I could without openly running, huffing and puffing all the way up the stairs outside.

The Owlery was damp and warm, as per usual, dimly lit with just a ray of sun coming through the open window.

As I bounded in, dozens of owls hooted in surprise and took off towards the rafters, kicking up mulch and droppings as they took off.  
I ignored the birds, hurrying over to the window and pulling a quill from my backpack.

Every once in a while during Hogwarts, I write to my older brother, Devon. I haven't seen him in years now, and he never answers, but it still comforts me knowing that I can try to contact him.  
He used to go to Hogwarts; he was a few years ahead than me, but he dropped out his last year.  
Sometimes I feel stupid when I'm writing; Devon hasn't replied to one letter that I ever wrote since I saw him last.  
Yet I do it anyways. I need the contact, the conversations, even if it is one-sided.

_Devon,_

_Hey there, big bro. I haven't heard from you in forever. I hope you're doing well._  
_In case you were wondering about me, today was my last first day of Hogwarts._  
_I'm pretty good. In retrospect, of course. There's this guy, and he has a girlfriend._  
_I really like him, but I don't know what to do. His name is James Potter._  
_I think he likes me, too. I wish you were here so I could ask you about it. Guys are so confusing._  
_Enough about me, though. I talked to Rebekah over the summer. She says she misses you,_  
_and she loves you. You should have just married her, I know you're crazy about her._  
_I'll write again in a few days! Don't forget about your poor little sister, rotting away at her_  
_magical school._

_Love,_  
_Dixie._

I finished the letter with a flourish, dotting the I's in my name with their usual "X".

I scanned the Owlery as I rolled up my letter, looking for my owl.

"Whiskey!" I called, whistling softly.

A dark brown owl soared over my head with a loud shriek, grazing the top of my head with his claws.  
He landed on the window sill and looked at me with expectant brown eyes.

I sighed and reached a hand into my robe pocket, pulling out an owl treat and offering it to him.  
Whiskey snatched it from my fingers speedily, nearly biting my thumb off in the progress.

I tied the letter to his leg as he was preoccupied with his treat. He looked up at me, and I whispered "Take this to Devon."

A second later, Whiskey was soaring out the window, the route to Devon long remembered.

The only letters I ever sent were to Devon.

- - -

It was on my way out of the Owlery that I saw him.

He was strolling through the grass with his hands in his pockets, staring at the ground absently.

He looked up as I sauntered forward.

"Hi, James," I grinned, standing up straighter immediately and batting my eyes up at him.

He looked back at me with bewildered hazel eyes, shifting uneasily. One hand went through his dark hair; something I both loved and hated.  
It was so god damn sexy I wanted to lock him away in an abandoned classroom and never let him see daylight again.

"Dixie," He greeted, and then glanced around. "Uhm, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, you know. I was just up at the Owlery; wrote a note to Dev. Then I saw you walking, and remembered I have to talk to you. So I decided to come give you some company." I smiled, hoping he heard the extra emphasis on 'company'.

James had frozen now, frowning at me slightly.

"You were writing a note.. to Devon." He repeated, seeming surprised at this.

I laughed. "Yes, James."

"To your brother Devon?" He questioned, and this time I sighed instead of laughing.

"Yes. Do I have to repeat it again or can we move on?"

James still looked unsure; he looked at me, seemingly puzzled.

Then his hazel eyes travelled up and down my body slowly, starting from my head, to my toes, and back to my face. I melted under his watch, butterflies squirming in my stomach maniacally.

Yet he wasn't just admiring me; something about the set of his mouth and curve of his eyebrows made him look wary.

"Right," James said, shaking his head the slightest. "Anyways, what did you need?"

"I think you know," I answered quietly, stepping closer. James looked alarmed now, and he looked down at me cautiously.

I snatched his wrist and pulled him away, as he stumbled over his own feet trying to keep up with me.

"What the hell?" He objected, but I had already whisked him behind the wall of the castle, pressing him against it easily.  
I kissed him ferociously, reveling in the feel of his lips against mine. James was a great kisser, one of the best I had experienced, and it gave me some sort of ultimate love-high.  
I was so engrossed in happy thoughts that I didn't even realize he wasn't kissing me back, until I was stumbling backwards.

"What the devil is wrong with you?" He hissed, eyes wide. His hair was sticking up in different places, as if I had been unconsciously pulling it, and his glasses were askew.

"What do you mean?" I stuttered. I could still feel the warmth of his lips lingering on my own. It made me want to start giggling like a lovesick schoolgirl.

Which I guess, in a way.. I sort of was.

"You can't just kiss me, Dixie. I can't believe you!"

I stared up at him in confusion, missing the punchline, and he began pacing.

I watched him silently until he stopped in front of me again.

"I have a girlfriend." James hissed, and I smiled, moving closer and running a hand up his arm.

"That's never stopped you before."

I leaned up on my tiptoes, placing a soft kiss on his jaw. He went rigid, and then both hands were pushing me away, once again.

"No, Dixie!"  
His eyes were dark, and they glared at me with such defiance that made me want to throw my hands up in defeat.

But quitters never prosper, after all.

"Why not?" I questioned, scowling and trying to pull my arms away. He gripped me tighter, and small shivers of both terror and delight swept up my arms.

"It's different this time." That was his simple answer, and I gave him one of my "your-on-drugs" expressions.

"It's different this time," I repeated mockingly, and shifted my weight to my left hip.  
"How is it so different? I don't get it, James."

James let go of my arms and I crossed them close to my chest, continuing on as he listened. "One minute you're hot, and the next you're cold. You want me, but now you don't."  
I stomped my feet. "Why can't you just make up your damn mind?"

He stepped closer, but it was not in the intimate way he always used to. This was a dangerous step, one that screamed 'Say anything else and I'll go all Avada Kedavra on your ass.'

"We'll get this straight," He hissed, bending down so we were face to face. We were so close, I could count the four freckles on his nose, and I could see the small reflection of me in his glasses.

"I do not want you. I have a girlfriend, Dixie. One that loves me, and I love her! Just leave it alone."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, please, James. Your girlfriends usually last a week and you know it."

James stood up from his stooped position, running a hand over his face.

"Not this one."

I just cocked an eyebrow, calm bitch that I am, and said "We'll see."

He gave me one long, last look before he spun on his heel and left. I couldn't read his face, whatever flickered in his eyes, and then he was gone.

After he was gone, I pondered what he'd said.

_It's different this time.  
_  
Well, guess what, James? You're right; it is different this time.

This time, I'm not going to sit and wait for it to end.

This time, I'm going to intervene. I'll break you two up, three weeks tops.

You're mine, James Potter. And I don't care who I push down in order to get my way.

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**A/N: Tralalal- oh hey guys. That scene with Dixie & James wasn't supposed to happen until the third or fourth chapter. So you guys are lucky my fingers have a mind of their own, or this wouldn't have happened. (;  
Next chapter you get to meet Jasmine Witt and see what she's like. She's pretty different.  
I love writing Dom. I hate making Dixie loathe her, because I think Dom's awesome, but the only other people in their dorm are Emily, Jasmine, and Vera.  
Dixie is pretty fun to write, too; I think if I were a better author, I could probably express her personality better. But I'm still learning, still in my teenage years. Still have years to improve and room for growth. (:  
I hope you liked it. Read and review, por favor!  
-fethre.**


	3. Boys and Potions

**A/N: I'm soo sorry it took so long for me to write this one. I was having problems sorting out the sequence of events. I have a story board that's half-finished, and I'm still not sure how some things should play out. I decided not to introduce you to Jasmine this chapter, but I felt bad, so I gave you a short look into James' and Dixie's past. I hope you enjoy it! :D Leave a review, tell me how I'm doing?**

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_The fire crackled in front of us as we sat in the Common Room. The heat of it sent prickles up my arms, but I paid it no attention, staring into the flames morosely.  
_  
_"It'll get better, Zee," James murmured from next to me on the couch, and I closed my eyes briefly._  
_  
"I don't think it can get any worse."  
_  
_My voice had turned scratchy and hoarse, tickling my throat uncomfortably, a tell tale sign of my weakness.  
_  
_I took a swig of the Firewhiskey in my hand to cover it, then pressed the cool glass of the bottle against my cheek.  
_  
_There was the slightest pressure on my hand, and I glanced up, surprised.  
_  
_James smiled weakly, shadows hanging over half of his face.  
_  
_Slowly, he interlaced his fingers with mine, all the while watching me.  
_  
_My heart was in my throat as I kept his gaze. His eyes were hazel, a golden color in the light of the fire.  
_  
_There was nothing right anymore. So I did the thing that felt like it was.  
_  
_I leaned forward, and pressed my lips against his.  
_

Kill me. Just really, kill me now.

Her laugh rang through the dungeon, and from the corner of my eye, I watched Jasmine place a soft kiss on James' cheek.

Nobody paid much attention to them. Professor Slughorn cast a disapproving glance, but apparently didn't have the energy to waddle over there and yell at them.

"Slut," I hissed under my breath, and threw the crushed spider eggs into the cauldron.

They went in roughly, splashing a little of the potion over the edges.

My Potions partner dodged out of the way of the falling liquid, brushing his Ravenclaw robes off.

"Somebody's ticked," The boy remarked mildly, propping his elbows up on the table and staring at me.

I rolled my eyes at him, peering into the cauldron. "What are we even making?"

The boy peered up at the chalkboard. "Looks like we're brewing Volubilis Potion."

"Which is..?"

He looked at me unbelievingly.  
"It alters the voice of the person who drinks it. Have you been listening at all today?"

"I've got better things to do," I tilted my chin up defiantly. "And who the hell are you, anyways?"

The boy winked, then stuck his hand out boldly for a handshake. "Nolan Saunders."

I blinked at him, and twirled a piece of blonde hair around my finger.

"Never heard of you."

He dropped his arm lamely, then attempted a smile.

"You wouldn't have. But I've heard of you. Dixie Kasnic, right?"

"That's me," I leaned towards him, grinning my most vampish smile. "What've you heard?"

I was in my full-on flirt mode now, but I could still hear James talking to Witt.  
Witt was giggling furiously, shushing James. They seemed to be in their own world, and James wasn't paying the least bit of attention to me.

Well.. I could change that.

I was now looking up at Nolan through my eyelashes. Overused move, yes, but effective nonetheless.

"Oh, I've heard things." He replied.

"Bad things?"

"Very bad things," He said solemnly, face serious and blue eyes unwavering.

"Well you can't trust everything you hear, Nolan Saunders." I smiled.

He copied my pose, edging closer.

Our faces were inches away from each other, and pieces of brown hair fell into those stormy eyes.

Nolan blinked slowly, eyeing my face, then smirked.

"You can go easy on the flirt, Kasnic. Potter's not paying attention."

He sat back, satisfaction evident on his face as mine flushed with anger.

Yet I couldn't help but turn my head and see for myself.

It was true. It seemed like James hadn't looked up once from his _girlfriend_.

I turned back to Nolan with pursed lips, my mood having officially taken a nosedive off the Eiffel tower.

"Don't flatter yourself, Saunders," I said dryly, and tossed my hair for effect. "I was _not_flirting with you. Besides, even if I was.. It wouldn't be because of James Potter." I lied, crossing my arms over my chest defensively.

Nolan laughed, amused.

"Of course not. You don't have to lie." He shrugged, and then stirred the potion almost absentmindedly.  
"It's pretty safe to say everyone knows about your obsession with him."

I gritted my teeth and sent Nolan my most frightening glare.

"You don't even know me." I started, and then set to work chopping the mint sprigs.

I hacked at them with the cutting knife viciously, continuing on through gritted teeth.  
"And you're not worth my time right now."

Do not pummel this kid, Dixie.

Do not pummel this kid.

"I know enough about you, actually. Now could you quit taking your aggression out on our assignment, please?" Nolan questioned.

My hand was steadily rocking the knife back and forth, cutting mint sprig after mint sprig.

As he talked, I spun around towards him, dropping the knife on the table, and fixed him with a stare.

My "bitch-step-off-now" stare; my favorite and most often used.

"You don't know jack shit about me, Saunders." I said flatly, gritting my teeth.

Nolan rolled his eyes, nudging me out of the way easily. He set to work slicing the sprigs easily, his movements smooth and gentler.

"I know your full name is Dixie Rae Kasnic. You're a 7th year Gryffindor. You're perpetually angry-"

He paused and looked sideways at me, studying me quickly.

"-And you're only ever seen with one friend. Which could be because you're so angry all the time."

I couldn't find any room in my head for anger. It was true; I had practically no friends.  
Emily? We actually used to be pretty good friends. Now.. It's like we barely know each other. I don't feel as if I can trust her with anything.

I brushed off the hidden insults easily, forcing a smiling up on to my face. "And I'm the stalker here? You certainly know a bit about me."

Nolan shrugged carelessly, scooping up the mint sprigs into one hand and tossing them into the cauldron.

He opened his mouth to retort, then stopped abruptly.

"Erm.." Nolan mumbled, watching our potion. "Is it supposed to be that color..?"

This time _I_ pushed _him_out of the way, peering cautiously into the cauldron.

The contents were a bright, wicked orange; a far cry from the calming lilac we were supposed to have. The liquid began bubbling, spitting at us and hissing uncontrollably.

"Well, shit," I heard Nolan remark from behind me, but I paid it no mind.

Before I'd given it much thought, I had switched cauldrons with someone else, using a quick spell a former friend had taught me.

Nolan made a sound of protest when he saw what I was doing, but I ignored him.

... Three seconds later, our ruined potion exploded into Jasmine Witt's face.

She screamed, an ear piercing cry, and stumbled backwards away from her table. James grabbed her arm in surprise, but she dragged him back with her. They toppled sideways, bumping heads together, and landed in a tangle of limbs on the stone floor.

The cauldron tipped over as they collided with the desk, spilling the rest of the bubbling orange potion onto the stone below.

Silence hovered through the room, thick in shock, as Hogwarts' newest It couple sputtered on the floor.

Then I, my classy self, burst into laughter.

Heads swiveled towards me, surprised at my audacity, but I was too caught in the humor of it all.

God, this was perfect. I hadn't planned to sabotage their relationship just yet, but now I had started it without even intended to.

Beside me, Nolan broke out into nervous chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Sorry, Professor Slughorn," He apologized to the serious old man staring at me. "It was a little funny, though."  
He nudged me sharply in the side, frowning at me in annoyance.

I sobered, taking a deep breath to fill my lungs back up, but I hung onto my smirk.  
"Fucking hilarious is more like," I muttered, but Nolan was the only one to hear.

Slughorn jiggled his way across the Potions Classroom, offering both of his wrinkly hands to James and Witt.

James pushed himself up on his own, ignoring Slughorn's help, and then pulled Jasmine to her feet.

"Oh dear," Slughorn sighed at the sight of her, and I smiled openly.

Her brown hair was everywhere, and black soot covered half her tan face. There was a forming bruise on her forehead where she had knocked heads with James, and one of her eyebrows was blown half away.

In short, she looked like she had just been dragged through a fireplace.

"Are you okay?" James murmered, pulling her close . I would have been jealous, but Jasmine's face was too much for me to be envious of her right now.

"Yeah," She answered immediately, and then gasped. Her blue eyes widened in horror, and one hand went up to her throat.

"My voice," Jasmine patted her neck frantically, then turned a beseeching look towards Slughorn. "What happened?" She demanded in a low, gravelly voice.

I bit my lip, grinning, and Nolan shook his head in disapproval at my happiness.

"Perhaps next time you should be more careful when handling potions. The Volubilis has altered your voice a few pitches down."

Jasmine's face was a bright red, flushed with anger and embarassment. "But, sir, we-"

"Now, now," Slughorn warbled, and I almost pictured him waving a finger at her. "No excuses. Mr. Potter, could you escort Miss Witt to the Hospital Wing?"

James nodded curtly, and placed one arm around Jasmine, as if she needed help to walk.

"What a drama queen," I said to Nolan when they were gone from class. "She has an altered voice, not an amputated foot."

"That was a real bitchy thing for you to do," He said seriously after a pause, staring down at the purple liquid that would surely give us an O.

I smiled, scooping up the potion in the little vial we were given. "You think _that _was bitchy of me? Guess you don't know me, after all."

"Yeah," He said, and collected his notes from the table. The bell rang, signaling the end of class, and Nolan turned to me. "But I don't think you know yourself, either."

He paused with his blue eyes on mine, letting these words sink in.

"See you later, Kasnic."

He was gone before I could think of something to snap back.

* * *

**A/N: I hope the ending didn't make you think I was trying to sound all epic or anything, haha. It's not really a big deal, what Dixie did, but Nolan thought it was pretty harsh. And speaking of, I hope you like Nolan. I don't expect you to fall in love with him automatically or anything, of course. But what do you think? Too nice, too strange? Tell me in a review. As it currently stands, it seems to me like Spiraling will have around 25 chapters, hopefully a little more. I want to have it finished by the end of summer. That's my goal, so I'll have to get my butt in gear. It's not going to happen, though, so if it stretches to the end of the year.. Sorry?**  
**-Mariah.**


	4. Laughter and Glares

**A/N: Okay. I just want to thank everybody who has reviewed this story. You guys really make me smile with your nice words and cc. I'd have no motivation for this story if it weren't for you.  
Now anyways.. Enjoy chapter 4 of Spiraling!  
**

* * *

"So there's a boy," Emily said quietly from beside me, hands stuffed in her pockets and head bent down.

I glanced at her and smirked, swaying my bare feet around in the water.

It was a pretty autumn day outside, and I had spent most of it staring longingly out the window during classes.

Fall had always been my favorite season. I loved the colourful leaves strewn across the ground, the crisp feel of the air, and how it was the perfect temperature outside. Just the slightest bit chilly, yet warm enough to go without a jacket.

"You mean a lover boy?" I questioned coyly, brushing a stray piece of blonde out of my eyes.

She lifted her head to look at me, her face blushing and shy.

"Yes.. Well, no. Sort of."

I grinned. Emily was so cute and innocent when it came to boys she liked.

"Does lover boy have a name?"

She cracked her knuckles, an annoying habit she'd had since first year, and ducked her head back down.

"It's Austin Price," Emily blurted out, eyes averted. "We started talking the second day of term. He was really nice to me and he has the sweetest smile ever. Yesterday he came up to me and he asked me for a walk around the castle."

Emily was rambling now, beginning to speak fast as she always does when she's excited.

"I sort of didn't want to at first, because you know how I get around boys, but I agreed anyways. So we walked around for a while and I realized I really,_ really _fancy him. He makes me laugh and it seems like he genuinely cares when I talk. So when we were finished with our stroll, he walked me back to the Fat Lady. And oh my gosh, Dixie, I was so beyond nervous. But he took my hands and looked me right in the eyes and then... He kissed me!"

She finished her ramblings with a squeal, staring dreamily out across the Great Lake.

I eyed her, amused, before reaching over and snapping my fingers in front of her face.

"Earth to Emily, are you with us? Helloo? Boy, that kiss must have been mighty good," I said teasingly, touching my hand to her forehead as if she were under some sort of fever.

Emily pushed my hands away, blushing a tomato red and grinning wide.

"So how was it?" I pried moments later, after she'd snapped out of her dreamlike trance.

She smiled, shaking her head a little to tell me I was getting no details on that matter.

"Oh come on, Em," I pouted, nudging her in the ribs with my elbow. "What kind of kiss was it? Was it like-" I pecked her mildly on the cheek. "That? Or was it more-" I mimed tonguing the air ferociously, grinning as Emily burst into laughter once more.

"You look ridiculous," She informed me in between giggles, pulling her beanie more snugly down her head.

I gasped and clutched my heart, falling backwards to gaze up at the clouds. "Your words.. they wound me," I said sadly, ripping out chunks of the grass and flinging them at her.

Emily chuckled, smiling softly to herself before collapsing down beside me.

We lay like that in companionable silence for minutes, just staring up at the blue sky, before Emily turned her head towards me.

"You know.." She began tentatively. "We haven't done this in a long time. Just hung out and joked about, I mean. You're.. different today."

I thought her words through in my head for a second, staying quiet.

It was true; I had woken up in a good mood today and I couldn't seem to shake it.

I shrugged, flipping over and scooping up a handful of red and green leaves. I threw them into the air, watching them flutter in the breeze and then fall back towards the ground.

"I guess so," I said nonchalantly, turning to watch Emily. "Is it a good different or a bad different?"

"It's a good different," She decided a few seconds later, smiling and sitting up.

She dusted leaves from her body and swung her pack over her shoulder, kicking me lightly in the thigh to get my attention.

"Come on, then. It's getting late, we should be heading back."

I groaned, standing and following her back up the path to the castle.

"So what about you?" Emily asked as we started our way up the Grand Staircase. "Any guy caught your eye lately? I mean.. besides.."

I ignored where she was heading, wiggling my eyebrows at her. "Well, I could go into the details of my broom cupboard adventures. Mm, last night I was with this guy and he knew _exactly_how to set me-"

"Ew!" Emily shrieked, clapping her hands over her ears and shaking in laughter. "Now that is _not_what I wanted to hear!"

"Okay, so.. Hot and heavy sessions in a broom cupboard.. bad. Romantic strolls around the castle at night.. good." I pretended to think this over in my head before shaking my head and grinning at her. "Nope, mine sounds a lot more fun."

"You are absolutely wicked," Emily chuckled as we neared the Fat Lady. "Sugar Quills," She added to the impatient woman in the painting.

"I swear, Zee. I'm going to get you a chastity belt for Christmas or something!" Emily teased as we clambered through the portrait hole.

I smirked, revelling in my good mood. "Oh, like that'll stop me. How about you get me a chastity belt and I'll get you a pack of condoms? Then we can go on and pretend that we actually use eachother's gifts- What the fuck!"

There they were again. Snogging. On the Gryffindor couch.

I eyed Jasmine and James evilly, wanting nothing more than to stomp over there and rip their heads apart.

And should Jasmine's head completely tear off in the process, it would be totally accidental..

"Don't try anything, Dixie," Emily warned from next to me, grabbing my wrist and staring at me with her doe eyes.

"Don't tell me what to do, Kingston!" I snapped back, my mood darkening each second.

I'd be lying if I said today hadn't been fun with her, but I'd also be lying if I said it was some sort of breakthrough.

I don't know what I was thinking earlier. I'd built these walls around me for a reason and _nobody_could tear them down.

Emily let go of me as though she'd been burned, hurt instantly filling her doe eyes. I would have cared before, perhaps halted to wrap her in a hug and trip over apologies.

But this was now, and now I was stomping over to the close-to-fucking couple splayed out in front of the fire.

I hesitated behind the couch, glaring at the two with hands on my hips. Then I reached forward and prodded James harshly in the shoulder.

"Hey James," I said sourly, poking him again. He kept his eyes closed and waved me off with one hand, the other tangled in Jasmine's hair.

That hurt me a lot more than I would have liked to admit.

I'm Dixie Kasnic, for Merlin's sake. I don't _do _hurt.

So I leaned over the back of the plush red couch, inches away from James' ear and drew a long breath for my next words.

"HELLOOO? I SAID HEY JAMES."

They sprung apart hastily, whipping their heads around to look for the source of their greeting.

James' eyes fell upon my smug face, putting two and two together quickly.

"What the hell, Zee?" He scowled up at me, reaching across to capture Jasmine's fingers in his.

I shrugged under his furious gaze, putting my hands up in surrender. "Chill your balls, Potter. I was just saying hello."

"You never want to _just_say hello," Jasmine said warily from his side.

Her tan face was flushed and excited, but her robin eyes were filled with exasperation. I'm fairly sure she knew it was me who'd blown up my potion in her face two days ago, but she had yet to mention anything.

I smirked, placing my elbows down and resting my chin in my hands. "Very true, Witt. I actually just wanted to break this up before the younger ones in here become audience to the de-virginizing of seventh years."

Jasmine huffed, looking extremely offended. "Actually, Kasnic," She glowered. "We're waiting. We want our first timesto be special. Unlike you, who'll shag anything with legs."

One part of her sentence stuck with me, dropping my mouth open into a shocked smile.

I eyed James, who had been looking at Jasmine with pride smeared all over his face. Now at her words, he paled physically.

"Really now?" I grinned, crossing my arms. "How _adorable_. James," I called, ignoring his pleading face. "It's awfully sweet that you waited for the right girl, wouldn't you agree?"

He sent me a dark look before smiling uneasily as Jasmine turned to him.

"Yeah, well," He mumbled, "I'm just that type of guy. You know me.."

I nodded enthusiastically, aiming my words at Jasmine although they were really to mock James. "Oh yes, he's very honorable. Truthful too, wouldn't tell a lie in his life. Especially to those he loves."

Jasmine nodded, although her face told me she was becoming slightly suspicious of my words.

"Yeah, I simply can not _stand _lying," She said matter-of-factly, smiling warmly at James.

"Oh?" I rose my eyebrows, smiling. She'd fallen right into it. "So say that James _did_lie about something? Something rather-"

"Okay!" James bellowed, cutting me off midsentence. He stood up and yanked Jasmine roughly to her feet, catching her as she tripped over herself. "Enough chat. Let's go up to my dorm, Jazz!"

Jasmine looked at me, confused, but James was already leading her across the room with a hand on the small of her back.

I knew exactly what he would do before he'd even started.

"Oh," James stopped abruptly at the foot of the boy's staircase. "I've left something over on the couch. You head on upstairs, I'll be there in a minute."

"What?" Jasmine questioned. "What did you leave? I can help you search-"

"That's not necessary," James said with a strained smile, nudging her closer to the stairs. At the look on her face, he insisted, "Really, Jazz, I got it."

He kissed her cheek and watched her go as she took off up the winding staircase.

Then, ever so slowly, he turned and strode back to me.

With the fire in his eyes and the long, determinated strides he took to get to me, I almost thought he was going to snog me.

But he didn't.

He didn't sweep me into his arms and hold me close as he normally would, or leave a trail of burning kisses across my face.

James raked his hand through his hair angrily, stepping close so nobody could overhear his words.

"Listen," He whispered intently. "I don't have long so I can only say this. Please, Dixie. You can't bring up what happened. I'll tell her.. eventually. But not_ now_. Merlin, she can't find out like this."

I crossed my arms and shivered, suddenly cold despite the roaring fire in front of us.

"Don't expect too much from me, James," I murmered back, staring at his collar instead of meeting his eyes. "I won't say anything. For now," I added as his expression lit up.

It fell back down at the last two words, but he nodded anyways.

"Thank you," James said sincerely, smiling the tiniest bit at me. "Really, Zee. It means alot."

He stepped backwards and cleared his throat, ruining what could have been a moment.

"Tryouts are tomorrow," He added, just a little louder so that it seemed like we'd been talking about Quidditch all along. "You don't have to go through it again, but your presence is mandatory. You don't show, you're off the team."

I nodded and gave him a little salute. "Sure thing. See you tomorrow, Captain."

I watched him leave back up the stairs to Jasmine, my heart feeling only the smallest bit heavier.

* * *

**A/N: Alright, I was getting the tiniest bit annoyed with Bitchy-Dixie so I threw in a little bonding time with Emily. It was fun to show Dixie's playful side, and I hope you didn't think it was too OOC. I actually really liked the beginning, to be honest. Either way, she went back to her normal self soo... anyways.  
Sorry the chapter ended so weirdly. This is my longest chapter, I think, so I didn't want to make it too much longer.  
OKAY: Tell me. Do you guys have speculations on anything about Dixie's past? I'd love to hear your input, as I throw in as many hints as I can. But I warn you, if you guys do guess, I'm not confirming. xD  
Do me a favor? Take some time to drop a review. (: I really appreciate them and respond to every one!  
Thanks.  
-Mariah. **


	5. Quidditch and Sweat

**AN: Sorry for taking so long. You know how I was all "oooh, my goal is to finish this by the end of the year"? Well, yeah, that's totally not going to happen at this rate. Sorry, babes!  
Now enjoy Chapter 5 of Spiraling!  
**

* * *

"I just don't get why you have to drown yourself in makeup. It's Quidditch, not a ball."

I sighed exasperatedly, tilting my hand mirror so I could meet gazes with Emily in it.

"Darling, that's the point," I started sweetly, as if I were talking to a child. "If there's anything James pays attention to, it's Quidditch. I have to look hot when I'm up in the air."

Pausing to close my foundation, I pretended not to notice Emily rolling her eyes at the_ duh _tone of my voice.

"All _I'm _saying," She groaned, "is that there isn't much of a point. You're just going to sweat it all off, and you can't come whining to me when you have panda eyes."

Having said this, Emily collapsed backwards on her bed, rubbing her face with two hands. She was grumpy this morning; I'd woken her up an hour before so we could get ready to go to the tryouts. She'd stomped over to her clothes and pulled out the worst combination of clothes known to man. I had doubtfully eyed her faded sweater and bright pink shorts, but she insisted she wasn't trying to impress anyone.

"Oh, just quit whining already," I groaned after I'd finished with my lipgloss. "See? I'm done, let's go."

I snapped the mirror shut and stuffed it carelessly into the bag with the rest of my makeup, hopping to my feet all at once. Snatching my broom from the corner near my bed, I was halfway out the door before Emily had caught on.

"Hurry up!" I complained. "Thanks to you, we're going to be late."

She huffed in indignation, but was right on my heel as we descended the staircase.

We arrived at the pitch with just a minute to spare, strolling in at a normal pace. Emily headed for the stands to watch, but I trudged my way over to my teammates.

"Dixie," James sighed as I stopped in front of them. "Didn't I tell you not to be late?"

I frowned, checking my watch with an air of impatience. "It's 8:13. I do believe the posters said we started at 8:15.. correct?"

He gave me a an exasperated look, but turned to the small crowd waiting for their chance to shine.

"Okay," He called, tapping his clipboard and raising his voice. Talking immediately ceased, all attention turning to the captain. "We have room for only 1 chaser, 1 beater, and then the keeper. So if you're looking for any other position, tough luck, because they're all filled."

Accusatory glares turned to us, yet a few people sighed and walked dejectedly away from the pitch.

"Hey!" Somebody called, and a small boy pushed his way through to the front. "This is bogus! Practically all of your team is your family! I call nepitism, and demand justice."

While the boy was clearly in over his head, he was partly true. The Potter-Weasley clan was a large one, but a good chunk of the kids had been sorted into 'd all grown up with Quidditch, though, so it was only natural they try out for the team.

There was Fred Weasley, co-captain and best mate of James; but just like James, he was a phenomenal chaser.

And you'd never expect it from little Lily Potter, but she could send bludgers across the field at brutal speed.

Trey Dorslet (the second beater on the team) wasn't part of the family, but he may as well have been with how much time he spent with them. So with Trey and I the only non-Wotters on team, it was a reasonable concern.

"Oh, shut up!" Lily called from next to me, crossing her arms. "You're not even in second year yet. No firsties allowed, so get lost, kid."

The little boy groaned at being caught, but upon recieving a withering look from Trey, he hurried off the field with a few friends of his.

"Now," James started once again. "In case anyone was wondering after that scene, _no _my relations are not on my team just because they are my family. These people-" He jerked his thumb over his shoulder to point at where we were crowded together behind him, "are the best of the best, and if you can't keep up, you're not on the team."

The hopefuls looked at us with wide eyes, and I winked at a few that were looking particularly nervous.

"With that settled, I need you to split up into groups for the position you want. Chasers over here, Keepers right there.. yes, good. Now, beaters.."

With the large crowd now divided into two, the tryouts began.

"And you guys," James added to us after he'd settled everybody waiting, "Usual warm up. Fred, come with me. I need my co-captain to help me decide a few things."

Fred tossed us a large smirk, smugness written all over his face. He jogged away towards our captain, gracefully avoiding Trey's outstretched foot in the process.

I sighed, laying my trusty broom down in the grass with the rest of the teams and praying it would be left alone.

'Usual warm up' was a phrase we all knew well. 15 minutes of laps around the pitch, 5 minutes with suicides, and finished off with a few easy stretches as a 'cool down' period. It was rather simple, but then again, we did spend most of our time on brooms.

We all started off running in a pack, but quickly diverged in a few minutes.

Alone, I was leading them both; being the seeker meant I had to stay quick and lithe, even on ground. Trey was a few paces behind me, huffing and puffing all the way, while Lily brought up the rear with her leisurely jogging.

I watched the commotion going on above me as I jogged, craning my neck to look at the people zooming by.

Fred and James were standing close together, speaking in low murmers as they surveyed the whole pitch. James nodded and crossed something off the list he had, oblivious to the futive glances I was sending him.

Sunlight lit his messy brown hair and seemed to make his skin glow. He stood hunched forward the tiniest bit, biceps flexing as he balanced the clipboard in one hand and wrote with the other.

I shuddered.

God, it should be a crime to be that insanely _hot_. How does Hogwarts expect us to learn anything with all these gorgeous men wandering around?

He turned his back to me, and I was snapped out of my reverie just in time to turn away from where I had been drifting.

I was fairly sure smashing into the stands and getting a broken nose would not be sexy in James' eyes.

Time passed quickly like it always did whenever it came to Quidditch. My legs were burning with all the suicides I had finished, but it was a burn I embraced.

When the captain called for us to stop, I eased to a halt, wiping my sweaty palms on my shorts before plopping down to the ground. I rolled my shoulders and tossed damp hair out of my face, catching my breath easily.

I did a number of fancy stretches, flipping across the emerald grass lithely and twisting into an upside down bridge.

Lily looked at me disgustedly- more pointedly at the exposed skin of my stomach as my shirt rode up. If she wasn't related so closely to my love, I'd probably bash her head in for staring so rudely.

No doubt she was just jealous of my tan; her freckled, pale face probably cooked like a lobster in the sun.

Let the poor girl envy.

As I slid into a split, I could feel another set of eyes on me. Smirking internally, I did a small victory dance inside my head. Hell yeah, James. Look at what you're missing out on.

I glanced his way quickly, only to have my heart sink in my chest. Fred was the one watching me show off, and I could tell as he rose one eyebrow at me that he knew who it had been meant for.

James hadn't been paying attention at all; his attention was focused directly on the girl in front of him. He grinned widely and ran a hand through his hair, oblivious as a young boy fell from his training broom.

_That girl is everywhere, _I thought to myself moodily, staring at the couple.

_Like a freaking fly.._ _If only I could smash her against the wall like she was one._

Abruptly standing up, I abandoned Lily and Trey to grab my broom from where it had been dropped.

Jasmine leaned into James for another stolen kiss as I marched off the field. Emily nearly jumped from the stands to follow me, tagging along at my heels.

"You still had about 10 more minutes until the end," She reminded me as we got farther away, and I scowled.

"Oh, please," I grumbled bitterly. "It's not like he'll even notice I'm missing. All eyes on Jazzy Wazzy when she steps through the door. It's sickening."

Emily's hand caught my arm and spun me around to face her. Her face was serious and (dare I say?) concerned, mouth halfway open in the beginnings of what would probably be some sort of long speech.

However, just as she turned me, her face lit up with delight. She laughed once out loud and let go of me so she could clasp a small hand at her mouth.

I looked down at myself in confusion, uneasy to say she was making me feel self-conscious. "What?"

She said nothing, just looking at me with her large brown eyes full of asusement.

"What do you look so happy about?" I snapped, patience dropping.

Emily shook her head, smile twisted, before pointing to me and giggling.

"You have panda eyes," She informed me smugly. And this time, I was the one struggling to tail after her.

* * *

**A/N: Ew. The ending is downright horrible, but I'll go back and edit it later. NOW LISTEN UP BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT: Dixie is going to get _a lot_ more bitchy and shallow. As I was reading over this, I realized that while I was trying to write how horrible she is, I kept slipping into my 'normal tone'. Which simply can not be done if I'm trying to write a character like Dixie.  
And you may find it strange, but I **_**want **_**you to hate her most of the time. It's all part of how she develops. So she is now going to become a tad more crazy-stalker-girl like seen in other fanfictions. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but I feel it's necessary.  
Read and review for me? I know it's a boring chapter, but reviews help me feel more empowered to write the next one!  
-Mariah.**


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